175老中医胡诌偏方小林总铩羽而归(1 / 2)

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《历劫之九世花璟末》电影片场:第165场第1场次——老中医胡诌偏方。

从新月小区里落荒而逃的小林总,走在熙熙攘攘的街市,还在想着那堆烦心事,嘴里不自觉地念叨着:

你们这一个个街边小摊“四比五多”,你们这一家家店铺也是“四比五多”,你你你……你们这些卖家“四比五多” ,你们这些买家脸上都写满“四”……这几天破事怎么这么多?

两票生意的买卖弄砸了,二号拘禁地的经营被毁了,有大哥转来的一百万,进行扫尾工作。按理来说,小林总没这么心烦意乱,满腔心事啊?谁让他又雄风尽失了呢?他实际上是烦这个……

西门大官人的魂灵又趴在他的右肩上,看他愁眉苦脸的样子,啧啧吐槽道:

“哈哈,四比五多……其实也不用愁,中年男人的苦,谁没受过?”

“幸好你不是那种——每天眼睛一睁开,上有老下有小,都是需要依靠自己的人,没有一个自己能依靠的人!唉!中年男人不敢失业,不敢穷,不敢病,更不敢失联……”

“曾经的西门大官人和眼下的小林总有一个共同的苦,那就是眼睛一睁开——这个温柔多情,那个美丽妖艳;这个浓妆艳抹,那个花枝招展;这个弹个琵琶行,那个弹个胡琴怨;这个做个蒸饺,那个做碗燕窝……懂懂懂,我都懂,她们想要点雨露,可是我心有余而力不足啊!”

“这不才四处打听,烧香拜佛,重金求得胡僧大力丸吗?名字听着挺厉害,其实就是一颗老鼠屎,可是威力十足。吃了它可以一战八美,累了不想了,喝杯凉水就是解药。你们这个时代 可以吃强哥啊!”

“两者美是美矣,可是,它能让你的生命变成昙花一现。一粒药,偷我八年的寿数,你想我都吃了五六十粒了,若是不吃,我有四百年的高龄,那还有西门一世……乃至西门九世花璟末的事?因此,这个强哥你不敢买,不敢吃,等同于慢性自杀!”

西门庆趴在他的耳边动之以情,晓之以理,可是小林总一介肉体凡胎,愣是一句也听不到啊!不像人家花璟末,打断骨头,连着筋,一脉相承,意念相通啊!

“不要不要啊!我只是对你小吹了几口阴风,我离你而去,过段时间自然好。你要是再服用那虎狼之药,就不好说了!”

小林总选择了一处最大的药房——“仁心大药堂”,他推开了玻璃门,走了进去。

有两个穿白大褂的女药师迎上来,询问他要买那类药,他装聋作哑一般转了一圈,非常没礼貌的没有理人家。

他面对两个水灵灵的女孩子,不知道怎么开口。看到门口有坐堂的老医生,他如获大赦般走了过去。

他看到老年医生鼻子上架的眼镜,他的直觉是——知识渊博,医术高超。再看后面一排中药柜子,更让人就医放心,中药历史悠久,源远流长,一定能让自己再振雄风!

他在就诊凳上坐下来,伸出右手腕枕在医枕上,只见医生闭气了眼睛,帮他号脉。

形容做事慢的时候都让老中医背了锅,现在看来,实在是背得不怨。右手号了,换左手,又回到右手。老医者气定神闲,神游脉中……

足有半个小时,才睁开了眼睛,缓缓说:

“你的脉快……小……硬……沉,套入脉理,则为精亏……气虚……火多,最近是不是肝火旺盛、食欲不振?”

“是是是,医生,您说得太准了,除过这些还添了一症状。”

老中医用疑惑的眼睛看向他,他欲言又止,最后不得压低了声音,结结巴巴说:

“我……我就是和老婆……钻被窝时,不顶用……”

不愧是见多识广的老中医,听到此,郑重其事地问:

“你想用中药,还是西药?内服还是外擦?”

小林总看到老医者后面威风凛凛的大药柜,坚定地说:

“中医!”

听到这,老中医龙飞凤舞地写好处方,然后叫来两个女医师让她们抓药,然后神秘兮兮地唤他凑近自己,趴在他耳门上说:

“一副药煎三次,倒在一起喝,煎完之后,做一个纱布袋子,装上药渣,再把你那玩意……塞在里面,一次要用药渣敷上半小时。这五副中药下去,连吃带敷,定当药到病除。定让你的老婆满足,让她第二天人如飞燕,心情好,走路轻……”

“骗子骗子,时间一到,你的病就好了,刚好让这个医生得了个巧。还想了个歪歪单方,好好治治你也好!省得你找我家老九的麻烦!”

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