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悟空传 今何在 0 字 2021-03-26

突然一双轻柔的手伸来,扶住了他,引他缓缓而行。一个女子声音轻轻地问:“你怎么了?”

“黑……太黑了……”刘彦昌哭着,他看不见扶住他的这双手,也看不见眼前的女子。

“黑夜只是一时,要相信太阳照常升起。”女子说。

“可是……我怕是等不到那时候了。”刘彦昌声音颤颤,走路也巍巍。

“怎么了?只是一次未中。看成败、人生豪迈,大不了从头再来啊。”

“从头再来……从头再来……来你妹啊!”刘彦昌突然崩溃了,“我十五年的苦读啊,我日日夜夜不敢懈怠,我十五年没有出过家门,没有和除我妈之外的女人说过一句话啊!别人家的孩子在玩,我在读书,别人家的孩子

睡了,我还在读书,我为的这是什么啊?他们有种就让我查卷子,看看那些排在榜上的人,文章是不是都写得比我好啊,敢不敢啊!我还怎么有脸回家啊,我怎么能去见为我辛劳白发的老娘啊。我明年再考,也不可能再写出这样的文章来了啊,我文章里哪一段不工,哪个典不实,哪一句碍了他们的眼啊。今年这样呕心沥血都考不中,来年又怎么可能中呢?”

杨婵扶着刘彦昌,也暗暗落泪。其实她看得明白,人家中举的全都老老实实写八股文章,歌功颂德,只有你刘彦昌写什么要除贪官救饥寒,主考官一看,什么?朗朗乾坤太平盛世,哪来的贪官,哪来的饥寒?你个妖言惑众之徒,不治罪就是开恩了,还想中举。若是让你这种人当了官,那还了得?你还不把我们都查个底儿掉?什么人都可以当官,就是你这种人不行。

杨婵摇头道:“有些事,我们无能为力的,不如想开些,只当是你前世未修得福分吧。”

刘彦昌紧握着杨婵的手颤抖:“可是你我明知不是这样的。”

杨婵叹息一声:“看得清楚,不过更痛苦。所以,不如骗骗自己吧……”

“骗自己……骗自己……”刘彦昌喃喃念着,突然仰天大笑,“好!好!好!原来是这样!原来都在骗我!我娘说只要刻苦读书就必能成功,骗我的!神仙庙里求签说我乘风破浪会有时,骗我的!考场对联写求天下英才治万世清平,也是骗我的!”

他突然甩开杨婵,于地上摸一石块,摸到墙壁上疾书一诗:

人情洞察皆学问,嬉怒笑骂即文章。天下熙熙功名道,百无一用蠹书箱。先骂天昏无光亮,再怒善恶不得偿。神龛众偶心如铁,枉受香火在一方!

他发狠猛刻,字字深痕,将手也磨出血来。杨婵看得心中羞愧,她当初骗他出于好意,此刻却只让他更痛苦。她改了他手中签,却改变不了他人间路。

“走吧。我们回家。”她流着泪,轻声说。

“回家?”刘彦昌呆呆出神,好半天才说,“我回不了家了……如果我母亲知道我落第,她会受不了的。我出门前向她发过誓,不考中,绝不回家。她相信我,她会在家等我,一直到……到最后。她看不到我,她就还会在希望中活着,相信我有一天会衣锦而归。”

“可是,为什么一定要中举,为什么一定要功名?如果你能娶个好妻子,生儿育女,耕田纺织,不也其乐融融?你娘也会开心的。她要的只是你开心罢了。”

刘彦昌惨然而笑:“如果这就是幸福,我这十几年来又是为了什么?”

“你为你的梦而努力过了,你尽力了。结果是不能强求的。”

“可是……如果没有结果,一切又有什么意义?”

杨婵也不知道该如何回答。

她只有牵着刘彦昌的手,陪着他默默地站着,于黑暗中听虫儿轻鸣,听夜风呜咽。

<--di--!>
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