第57章打这个傻家伙(1 / 1)

大义小淼 飞碟司机 0 字 2021-04-23

小独的国王带着保镖赶来了。

“你们先休息会儿,我自己来。”小独国王对他的6个保镖说。说完他拉开了架势,标准的独国跤术样式。

张小淼像看只有传染病的小哈巴狗似的看看小独的国王,说:“你抽什么羊角疯呢?”

“我不相信你就是纳瓦国王,因为他不可能狗眨眼的工夫就从纳瓦来到了我们祸岛!你肯定是个骗子,妖魔鬼怪!”

小独国王说着已经贴了身,要让张小淼趴下啃核电站的污土了。

张小淼一翘左手大拇指,小独国王不见了。

把他收进了储物戒指里去了。

小独国王发现自己来到了一处空旷的沙漠地带,还是黑咕隆咚全封闭的。到处摸索了半天,跑得精疲力尽了,才发觉有一处像个圆圆的洞形出口。他歇息片刻,聚攒了全身的力气,猛的一脚踹出去,要把洞口踹开。

但洞口没开,也没硬度,真空一般。他的脚因为训练有素,只用鞋底子接触了踹着处,结果鞋底子像被机加工车间的铣床铣过了似的,消失了,光剩了鞋帮子。

这下他吓坏了。

这是什么洞口,比非洞口还结实呢。

他的认知被颠覆了,再也不敢怀疑纳瓦国王的能力了:他说他能把我打出屎来,看来不仅没吹大牛,连蜗牛都没吹,且还极其谦虚了呢。他说他能把我们小独国的核电站废水带走,更是没有半个字的谎。起码了他能把那些核废水放进他的储物戒指里,然后喂了哪个太空黑洞吃,或给哪颗恒星淋淋浴,他都是能做到的。怪我眼力长进了腚沟子里,看不出他的能力来。现在好后悔啊,错过了结交的好时机,还成了仇人。

亡羊补牢,犹未为晚。他这样想着,就扑通跪了下去,朝着那疑似出口的地方连磕响头。磕了上千个了意犹未尽,感觉这个磕头行动比什么都有意义。就像进庙烧香的人遇到了真神,把膝盖磕成腿窝子也值啊。

磕了好久没动静,他就又跪着张开口舔。好人长在嘴上,好马长在腿上,我光用腿劲努力还不够的,还需要借助语言嘛。我在召开会议的铜銮殿内时每讲一句话都被当做金口玉言,现在用金口玉言来舔纳瓦的大王应该管点用吧。想到这里于是他呼喊:“大王饶命,小的不是被你捉进来的,是主动进来来给你舔腚提鞋来了!大王爷爷,那些核废水啊,我实话告诉你,还真有毒,所以你可不能真喝一碗呦。如果你有怒气儿呢,就像灌屎壳郎似的,灌我肚子里好了。然后我跑肚拉稀是活该,是自找的。那些核废水啊,爷爷您从您的戒指里扔出来,扔回原地好了。我呢,也不撅决腚定往公海里排了。以后有爷爷您照顾,我还研究核干什么呢。我实话实说,不打自招,老实交代。我搞核电站呢,其实是以发电的名义,一直研究核弹弹的。我被你的俩核弹炸塌了家里的东厢房,我真敬畏啊,也想有那种玩意,也想把您家炸塌,炸得飞砖走瓦,大门躺下睡觉啊。我还想过把您本人炸得焦头烂额,住进烧伤医院呢。嗯,再把您转肿瘤医院。现在啊,我是真的服了。我已经看到了,大王您已经是法力超仙,还又德高望重。我当个不自量力的哮天犬,还不如给爷爷您当个摇尾乞怜的小哈巴狗子呢。其实我也很看的开,当啥狗不是狗呢,啥狗不吃屎呢,狗怎么改得了吃屎呢,屎怎么改得了馋狗呢。大王爷爷……不行,您不会挑理吧?我是狗哎,怎么能叫你爷爷呢,那你不是也成狗了嘛?我该怎么称呼您呢,我想不懂啊,我太难了……”

小独国王的一通这种狗腔狗调的演讲,张小淼因为忙碌当时没有听到,动手往戒指储放那些核废水罐时,怕砸着小独国王,才看看他在哪儿,想把他拨拉到个角落里去,才看到了其嘴脸,收听到了其贫嘴贱言。以致张小淼太瞧不起小独国王,太恶心了,就不想理他,开始往自己的戒指里搬运那些废水罐。当掂到有一只罐子不满,能盛开一个人,就用法术抓了那小独国王,咕咚一声丢尽了罐内去。你特么不是说这水没毒嘛,那你在里头洗澡吧,洗个够吧,看啥时候能吧你的魔鬼基因洗刷了去。

“不许偷我们家东西!”这时,那6个保镖冲上来,要阻止和围殴张小淼。

“我这能算偷东西?”张小淼疑惑了,“给你们解决这么大问题,省下你们处理废水要用的特别大量钱财,怎么变成偷窃了呢?”

“不是偷,是大义之士,是得道高僧……道德高升!”网友们力挺张小淼。

但保镖们动手了。好几天没打人了,度日如年啊,手心脚心痒死了,天赐我们这么个空旷的地方,太利于施展拳脚了,快揍了吧,快打了吧,快打这个往自己家里偷核废水的傻家伙!

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