525 决定(2 / 2)

人世间总有那么多的不愿,总有那么多的不愿的不愿,我不愿伤害依依,我更不能伤害晓琰,但总得去伤一个,今天的ktv之夜,今天所唱的匆匆那年,或许就是我和依依之间的分离,我希望她不要去做很傻的事情,不要去选择轻生,我知道她对于我的爱很真也很深,这么多年来,她一直都坚持着,即使是毁了容,整了容,样子完全变了,但她的心却一直如此,我明明知道,却无法给她什么,或许能够给她的只是那可恶的伤痛,如果,可以有如果,在她出事的时候,我一定会找到她,在她特别无助的时候一定会给予她最好的关爱,可惜这世上根本没有所谓的如果,用林俊杰的一首歌来形容,就是可惜没如果。</p>

我知道我现在要做什么了,我的心是极具压抑的,宛如被一块重石狠狠的压着,我需要释放,而ktv的存在或许就是让那些身体里有太多污浊的人,用带着跑调的吼叫释放需要释放的一切。</p>

依依没有动作,只是爬在华丽沙发上,狼狈的哽咽哭泣,循环播放的匆匆那年真实的描绘出了我和她之间的青涩时代,紧张的牵手,颤抖的拥抱,那永远都不会忘怀的亲吻,但这一切都交给了匆匆那年。</p>

我想要将这首歌送给被我狠心伤害的依依,我想要让她明白,人生有太多的无可奈何,我的心里有她,可是不能和她在一起。</p>

“倘若那天把该说的话好好说,该体谅的不执着,如果那天我不受情绪挑拨,你会这么做那么多如果,可能如果我,可惜没如果,只剩下结果......”</p>

我含~着泪也流着泪唱完了这首歌,整首歌或许都不那么契合主题,或许只有那么一句那么多如果,可能如果我,可惜没如果,只剩下结果,来表达我无奈的情绪,来告诉依依我真实的想法。</p>

忧伤的旋律停息了,包厢中的哽咽声却仍旧在继续,这一切都怪我,上学时代的承诺,现在却无法兑现,明明她还在,明明她还爱着我,我却只能做让她伤心的事情。</p>

“依依,我知道你的心特别痛,我知道你的泪不会轻易的停息,甚至在心里会怨恨我,你会想这么年来,换了容颜,却都没有变心过,到头来却还要眼睁睁看着自己爱的人像别的女人求婚,还要和别的女人结婚,不管你如何的不甘心,不愿放弃,我只想劝你一句,你理智的放弃我吧,我给不了你想要的爱和生活,如果有来生,我会补偿你,娶你为妻,我做了太多对不起你的事情,现在我真诚的和你说声对不起,依依你要保重,欧旷达是很好的人,我很明白他很爱你,他不会在意你是我的初恋,更不会在意你的脸是假的,我送你回家吧。”</p>

我一字一句的说着,不高不低很轻,但是颤抖的节奏一直在继续,滚烫的泪水悄然的流逝着,每说一个字就是一次的心痛。</p>

说话间我走到了依依的身边,依依没有动作,我不知道她现在在想什么或许已经死心了,而我现在也是处于一种凌~乱的状态,即使我对她全然都是怜惜,但一想到家里的晓琰,我就会遏制这样的想法,我爱的人是晓琰,我要和她结婚。</p>

我缓缓的俯下~身,抱起了已然坦然下去的依依,我看到了她迷茫的眼睛,她的眼睛已经黯淡,甚至是浑噩不清,她被我抱起,却没有任何的话语,任何的动作,或许她已经是累了,因为酒精的麻醉,身体软了,因为我狠心的伤害,心累了。</p>

她没有说话,只是将头仰着,看着包厢的天花板,眼睛瞪着老大,却黯然无光,泪水全然都纵横在了脸颊,美丽迷人的她,现在是如此的憔悴,我的心宛如被手抓~住一般,狠狠的抽~搐着。</p>

但是话已经说的够多了,现在已经是无话可说,就这样沉默的抱着依依,走出了仍旧在播发歌曲的ktv。</p>

夜的世界将我和依依笼罩,站在马路边上,等待着出租车,夜风呼呼的吹着,很温柔的风却吹出了瑟瑟的如刀刃一般的寒冷。</p>

我看看在我怀中的依依,发现她已经闭上了眼睛,已经睡着了,脸上有残留的泪痕,真是的显现着,神色依旧是茫然的痛苦,看着她,我沉重的叹息一声,我明白今夜过后,明天来临,我们之间便不会再有联系,因为我就要离开了,回来后求婚,然后结婚......</p>

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