不要听(1 / 1)
蹩脚诗人流浪记
流风云
0 字
2021-05-10
城市的霓灯和我一起睁开惺忪的眼睛
打量着衣衫褴褛的乞丐,
凝视着不知疲倦的
人hn国的温暖
把冷寂的夜晚哄骗得像个小孩
那么醉人,如此可爱
一天,八万六千四百秒的等待,嘲笑与疑猜
会不会,一个迷路的女人,和我撞个满怀
会不会,一个臃肿的阔太,对我念叨青春的苍白
会不会,百无聊赖,在夜风的演奏中错过所有意外
,缀满屋檐的青苔,把憔悴娓娓道来
,装满甲虫的口袋,把曾经收藏在羞涩的胸怀
,蟋蟀再躁动起,那已落地的尘埃
,那些摇曳于唇间的,如梦般的自在
附言:
在杭州工作有小半年的时间了,与其说是工作,倒不如“打工”这个词眼更接地气!朋友在这座城市已经买房成家,只有我依然是个游子,如闲云野鹤,孤独并自由着,快乐且悲伤着。半夜时分,常常想念故乡,尽管那是个穷地方,却不知道为何如此留恋,也许是因为我二十多年的生命都交给了那片土地吧,所以做梦时就情不自禁的梦见很多过去的事与过去的人。这种感觉时常在书籍里读到,但现在置身其中后,方察觉思念承载了多么深的意味。也想过回去,可回去又失去了工作,工资平平,难免破产,落个拮据的困境,千言万语大多抵不过生计更有说服力,让一个人,一个家庭为之忍受,失去很多亲情。
要么说,我这一代人都在挣扎呢!农村和城市,犹如鱼和熊掌不可兼得,年轻人必然选择城市,选择为下一代而活,这无可厚非,难的是父母仿佛一颗老树,年轮日渐增多,需要更多的陪伴,而不是一个憧憬。比这更糟糕的情况,很多人在大城市谋生,难以真正扎根在此,只涨不跌的房价,就像一艘位置有限的诺亚方舟,驶向上帝的乐土,终究是一部分人的命运。
于是,总禁不住拿自己与生活在三线城市的同学对比,对比收入,对比幸福指数,对比生活状态等等。最后得出来的结论即是,我远远没有人家活的惬意,再直白一点就是根本没有生活,或者活着的尊严。假如,父母偶尔感冒了,脚扭了,做子女的也只能暂时对着电话,先是责备一通,念叨些怎么那么不小心之类的话,然后再发一顿牢骚,似乎跟自己生病了似的,最后才感觉到自己什么事也没去做。整个人都是在为自己而活着,而不是为了他人而活!人们常说,世界上最幸福的事,莫过于孩子在闹,你在笑!以前不屑一顾,而如今却恍然大悟,这么稀疏平常的小事,对于我这类人来讲,却是最难做到的。
向上走,是有人生追求;向下走,是追求人生。于城市间,每天只有一个憧憬的追求,于故乡中,每天都活在亲人的世界里,两个截然不同的方向,造就了如此迥异的结果。这样,追问到最后,我到底为什么而活着?为了财富,为了高品质的生活,还是为了亲人,为了怀念?想想父亲,假如我童年中,他常年在外打工,我对于他有了解多少呢?想想现在,我一年不回家几次,父母又对于我又了解多少呢?如果亲情不是陪伴?那还能是什么呢?
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