第15章机器人看医生(2 / 2)

在听说村里有外星人抱着陨石从天降落的传奇故事后,笑笑抽空去了现场,察看了被砸倒的玉米,却怎么也找不到所谓的陨石。

玉米被砸烂了这么多,都有一间井屋的屋顶那么大了,这么大的石头块子,如果真的有的话,谁能搬得动,弄得走?并且,去村支书家和村支书一起察看了那条路的东头和西头的十字路口的监控,根本没有拖拉机汽车之类的运输工具拉运大石头的情况。并且听村支书对广大村民们说:“这事只有可能是有人在棒子地里演《红高粱》,丢人现眼。当然,新社会了,封建思想不适应时代了,我们看不惯也要看得惯。”

“不会吧?”有人又提出质疑,“正赶上浇地,地里那么湿,爱情就不怕得湿疹吗?”

“爱情像一把火,燃烧了整个沙漠,害怕这点水?没把我们村的庄稼地和房屋火烧连营就不错了!”

大家就一阵哄笑。

笑笑学历高,研究生,又懂医,对于外星人降落进行过思考,认为绝对是无稽之谈:外星人走了无数光年,一路吃什么?吃石头?咬得动?能消化?还是靠吸收恒星光能转化出化学能?还是靠动能转化成化学能?都不可思议,不靠谱。

但她只能默默和自己讨论,不能去找鲁鸥讨论,因为她们俩不拉。有次鲁鸥要借听诊器去听听马桶底部地砖下面漏没漏水,笑笑没借给她,她从此见了她的影子就吵吵,指桑骂槐。

这时大钱为了造新镜头,领了二钱到了村里的卫生室,请笑笑给他用听诊器听诊,让二钱给拍摄。

“你有什么病呢,要让我看?”笑笑不苟言笑,脸上冷若冰霜,严肃清静。

“我喉癌,加哮喘,加食道噎饭,加胃穿孔,加肠鸣,加盲肠炎,加痔疮。”机器人大钱回答。

“这么年纪青青的,就百病缠身啦?”

笑笑说着,拿起听诊器给大钱听诊。

二钱见状赶紧拍照。

笑笑把听诊器左扣右扣,上扣下扣,听了好多个地方,然后说:“没病,身板好着呢。”

“不可能。”大钱否定道,“我起码感冒了吧,用外国人的说法,抓住了一个冷。我夜以继日地抱着大冰块,风雨兼程,太阳风流星雨,铁人也要伤风感冒啊!”

“夜以继日?白天抱着冰晒太阳好玩,晚上睡觉也抱着冰,不湿透被窝呀,你妈妈不打你哇?”有个躺病床上输液的老奶奶忍不住插话道。

“你老年人思想跟不上时代潮流了。”大钱批评老太太,“我是外星人,你认不出来的。”

“她思想可不落伍。”另一个坐着试表的老汉就说,“她年轻时是报社的通讯员,光写农村新科技报道了呢,现在有时候还笔耕不辍呢。”

“通讯员?土记者?那赶紧采访报道我呀!”大钱说,“我是一个外星人啊,本身就是新闻人物哇。别说我长这么帅,即便我长得尖嘴猴腮,鼠目寸光,狗嘴象牙,牛头马面,虎头蛇尾,鸡鸣狗盗,也是超级新闻人物啊。不论谁写了我,都会获得一等新闻奖金的!”

“不写了。”老太太摇摇头,“机器人都会出洋相了,谁还看新闻呀?”

“我不是机器人!”大钱一指二钱,“他才是机器人呢。我是徒有其表,表里不一,外强中干的。你们刚才没听到吗,医生都说我好身板没毛病了。我说的都是实话,骗人是小狗。您采访我吧!我会知无不言,言无不尽!”

老通讯员还是摇摇头。

“你开飞碟来的地球吗?”试表的老汉问道。

“没那么麻烦,我抱着冰就来了!”

“冰光腚猴子一般滑溜溜的,怎么抓得住?”老头更不信了。

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