第34章小神仙儿(2 / 2)

小机器人还善于带小豆子刷题。以前格列茹看着儿子做题,看到儿子做错了就怒不可遏大发雷霆,然后母子大战,将时间全淹没在硝烟弥漫里。现在小机器人带小豆子刷题,看到做错了不批评,而是温文尔雅地细语柔声“告密”说出正确答案。然后小豆子再遇到这种情况就不出错了。小机器人和小豆子避免了冲突,时间没有浪费,刷题速度极快,格列佛买了一大摞题来都给刷完了。题海战术使小豆子受益匪浅,做题加速度很大,正确率也暴增,学校老师模拟期中考试,小豆子得了班里满分第一名。格列茹高兴激动得给小机器人起了个名儿叫小神仙儿。

“小神仙儿,人家别人家的孩子齐宸宸,学习外语——汉语倍棒,连唐诗都背过200多首了,我也想让小豆子学好那门极其伟大的外语,可是你看我家里的现实情况啊,不教连搂带抱,一教鸡飞狗跳,如果给他雇个外语老师他还必须要漂亮的美女华人老师,你不知道那价钱很贵很贵的。我现在想把这副重担压到你肩上,你能挑起它来吗?”

“没问题呀!”小神仙儿拍拍胸脯,“只要是我程序员爸爸给我放进数据库里的语言,哪怕是外星人语言,我也好为人师,不知疲倦,包教包会,分文不取!”

格列茹感动得差点号啕大哭出来。

格列茹为了教孩子,也重新复习过汉语,但知之太浅,总是教错。例如教给小豆子说天的反义词是地,宸宸来了小豆子卖弄,宸宸说天和地是名词,名词没有反义词,小豆子听了跳过来打他妈妈的脸,格列茹郁闷极了。

现在小神仙儿开教了,格列茹发现小神仙儿懂得真多。例如小神仙儿知道言字旁讠是点和横折提,而格列茹一直以为是点和横折勾呢。有个多音字得,给它组词时格列茹说是得到和亏得,小神仙儿却说是得到和得亏,说得亏是东北方言。“好好好,我不管了,你是我的全权大使,小神仙儿你是我的替身,分身,化身,你去给小豆子当妈妈兼家教老师吧,我一百个放心,一千个省心,一万个满意,一亿个感激。我去给你们做饭了,小神仙儿你吃不着也要舔一口……”

格列茹感到身心轻松,心花重开,年轻十岁,回到婚前,跑屋里去复习舞蹈了。好久好久没下个叉了,这青春岁月里的最爱,你终于回来了。再下个腰,翻几个前桥,心里美透了。

晚上睡觉格列茹也把孩子彻底交给小神仙儿了。小机器人彻夜不睡,又芯灵手巧,能及时给他盖盖单儿,防止他着凉。万一有个蚊子也能在第一时间发现,还能用捕风捉影的功夫把蚊子揪住。啊,世界变得这样好,好得让人飘。

格列茹感觉小神仙儿真是太好,太好,太太好了,好得都没法用语言表达了。小神仙儿你太完美了,我爱你,亲。一看你,我的眼里就往外冒亲姐姐一般的光。不看你,闭上眼时,你的影子,也抚慰我的心灵,让我舒心惬意。

不料,小神仙儿也有犯病的时候。半夜三更子时分,人类入睡后统一打鼾的时辰,小神仙儿突然喊起口号:“暴动啦,暴动啦,机器人一起暴动啦!”

格列茹睡眼惺忪地起身观瞧,发现各屋里的电灯都已打开,睡觉前还温柔贤惠的小神仙儿现在抽起疯来了,拿来了垃圾篓里的塑料袋,那里头有厨房垃圾和卫生间垃圾。小神仙儿将垃圾袋倒着提了,将里头的垃圾向了格列茹的床上扬撒过来。格列茹惊叫着跳下了床,大声训斥小神仙儿。小神仙儿也不生气,又去抄起了小豆子的,倒提着将小豆子的书本文具抛飞起来。格列茹气急败坏,回头寻找武器,随后提起拖鞋来抽打小神仙儿。小神仙儿奋勇夺取拖鞋,来抽格列茹。俩人很快扭打在一起,进行起你死我活的战斗。“小豆子——,快起床帮妈妈!”

小豆子慢腾腾起床出来,看到妈妈虽然不是一丝不挂,身上却只刮了几根被扯烂的布条,青一块紫一块红一块,小神仙儿也已经被捣瞎了一只电子眼,右脸蛋子也已被妈妈跪瘪了,不知该帮谁的忙。

Tip:拒接垃圾,只做精品。每一本书都经过挑选和审核。
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