第55章 气疯天下人(1 / 2)

徐凤年刚想要去哑巴剑痴那里领教所谓的剑气,却听到一阵杀猪般哀嚎响起,带着死了爹娘的凄厉哭腔,徐凤年笑着转身,看到一颗大肉球连滚带爬了过来,迅速拿绣冬刀鞘顶住三百斤大肉球的冲势,敢在世子殿下面前如此不顾脸皮赤裸媚态的,也就只有褚禄山这朵肥硕奇葩了。

见着了皮肤黝黑的徐凤年,被绰号禄球儿的胖子一把鼻涕一把眼泪,吃力半蹲在世子脚下,白肥双手握着绣冬刀鞘,泣不成声。

徐凤年最喜欢看禄球儿的夸张作态,见一次开心一次,至于真伪,只要徐字王旗一天不倒,那就都是真到不能再真了。

徐凤年抽出刀鞘,拍了拍堂堂千牛龙武将军的脸颊,“起来说话,从三品的武将,给我下跪,也没听说给你爹娘跪过,倒是听人说你没事就拿两老出气,成何体统。对了,禄球儿,徐骁交付给你的事情办完了?”

褚禄山顾不得擦拭身上爬武当爬出来的几桶汗水,艰难起身,一身肥肉颤颤巍巍,真不晓得他的婢女侍妾如何受得了三百斤肉挤压,圆滚滚的胖球谄媚笑道:“办妥七七八八了,剩下点儿,有人盯着,出不了漏洞,只等殿下检验。禄球儿爹娘是两个为老不尊的货色,也就把我生下来,做了件好事,凭什么让我去跪,倒是世子殿下,英明神武,一人独占了天下才气八斗,今儿练刀大成,可不就是文武双全了,给殿下跪死都心甘情愿。殿下,这山上真不是人呆的地方啊,禄球儿斗胆请殿下回王府,嘿,禄球儿这趟出门办事,在江南道那边给殿下寻到一对可人的并蒂莲,才豆蔻年华,却生得如丰腴如美妇,殿下,可以采撷了!”

徐凤年阴沉着脸,“并蒂莲?”

不知怎么惹恼了世子殿下的褚禄山脑筋急转,冷不丁想起那个缺门牙的老仆,剑九中似乎剑二便称作并蒂莲,这胖子赶紧自己扇了两巴掌,力道奇大,一点不含糊,整张脸像红烧肉,悔恨道:“小的该死!”

徐凤年搂过褚禄山肩膀,笑道:“瞧瞧,咱们哥俩感情,生分了吧?本世子吓唬一下,你还当真了?这才该掌嘴。”

禄球儿使劲点头,又狠狠扇了自己两耳光。啪啪作响,异常响亮,绝对是用出了昨晚吃奶的劲。褚禄山在凉地凶名昭彰,真正做到了罄竹难书的层次,其中一条就是只要被他听闻有貌美妇人生子,就要掳抢到府上,吃奶。若奶-水上佳,下场还好,吃饱喝足便被打赏银两送出去,若不好,就要被他剐去双乳。

这等豺狼,却从来都是在凉王府里做狗。可这条狗,当年追随大柱国征战南北,却也曾做过在战场上背负徐骁挡下足足十一剑的壮举。所以徐骁封王后许诺义子褚禄山可犯十一死罪而不死。

其余几位义子,各有派系,却全都对褚禄山十分唾弃,例如袁左宗就从没正眼过这胖子,更别说人屠陈芝豹干脆放话将来要将禄球儿的尸体点了天灯。

徐凤年带着褚禄山来到洗象池,顿时清凉,看着圆球小心翼翼蹲下去捧了些水泼在脸上,徐凤年笑问道:“辛辛苦苦上山,总不是只想在我面前嚎叫几声的吧?”

褚禄山抬头笑道:“最近有些趣闻,怕殿下在山上寂寞,想说给殿下听,好解解乏。”

徐凤年感兴趣道:“还是禄球儿暖心,赶紧说来听听。”

褚禄山一屁股坐在石头上,眉飞色舞道:“第一件是吴家剑冢出了一位年轻的天才剑士,叫吴六鼎,二十岁便出了那座剑冢,下山挑战天下知名剑客,至今还没有败绩,马上就要到达越王剑池,想必很快就有一场好戏。这姓吴的剑法十分不错,独身单剑从北走到南,虽说尚未跟一品高手过招,可死于他剑下的好手,有六七个都是成名几十年的扎手硬点子,不过禄球儿心想他的剑再厉害,比起殿下的刀,就是绣花针了。”

徐凤年笑眯眯,不置可否,眼神示意禄球儿接着说。

禄球儿抹了抹脸上才出池子便被他体温捂热的水珠,继续说道:“接下来两件就都是与二郡主有关了,两旬前二郡主在上阴学宫当监考的小祭酒,给一位前西蜀士子一首五言绝句评分,评了不堪入目四字,那士子不服气,便问天下诗词大家谁能入眼,殿下,你可知二郡主是如何说的?二郡主一番评点,几乎把王朝里所有的文豪名士都惹恼了!她评宋祁门词意萎靡,尽是闺房淫亵、羁旅狎妓之情。评大学士元绛,沈海堂、张角之流,技巧而意弱,沽名钓誉,总体才情不高,意趣不高,远不能称为诗词大家。评上阴学宫诗词大家晏寄道短章小令,纯任天籁,看不出个人力功夫。连二郡主的老师苏黄都不曾逃过一劫,被评专主情致,而少故实,譬如贫家美人,虽极妍丽丰美,而中乏富贵仪态!最后那恃才傲物的士子傻眼了,再无气焰,只得小声询问当朝第一词仙李符坚又当如何。不曾想二郡主依然评点只可称句读不茸之诗,不可称作为词,念得唱不得。至于李符坚之下,其余闲杂人等,皆是连读也读不得。”

褚禄山说得气喘吁吁,神采飞扬。说来奇怪,大柱国双女,徐脂虎对禄球儿竟是深恶痛绝,恨不得打死干净。反倒是声誉卓绝的徐渭熊对这个胖子并无过多反感,对于弟弟徐凤年跟褚禄山厮混,也从没有过问。

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