21.情愫生(五)(2 / 2)

    “嗯。”晕晕沉沉的,陆萦趁着烛火燃尽之前,摸索着在她身畔合衣躺下,顺手摸了摸顾青盏的手臂,依旧是冰凉冰凉。“还冷吗?”

    顾青盏:“冷……”

    有一瞬间,陆萦想侧过身然后把她搂紧怀里,但……那只不过是一瞬间的冲动罢了,她深知此时能这样躺在她的身畔,就已是满足了,她不敢再有其他任何越礼行为。

    只不过,她的身体真的好冷,隔着这么远的距离都能感受到她身上散发的寒气,陆萦不敢抱她,却在慢慢挪着身子,一点一点靠近她。又心疼她全身冰凉,陆萦辗转不安,掀开被子准备下榻,道:“我让映秋再多抱一床被褥过来?你身子凉得紧……”

    “不用了……”顾青盏抓住陆萦的手腕不让她走,摇着头,半晌才说了一句:“你陪着我……便好很多。”

    晚间这般温情的话语更容易让人冲昏头脑,陆萦的心也为之一颤,依旧规规矩矩地躺好。但是在烛火熄灭的那一瞬间,她转身,轻轻地抱住了身侧的顾青盏,尽管身体之间还隔着很大的空隙……

    想抱她,就纵容这一晚,想着,陆萦闭上了眼。

    顾青盏的身子僵了一下,没有拒绝也没有回抱,仍是那样躺着,但心里却暖得不行。

    抱着她,又梦见了她。陆萦在梦里看到了她凤冠霞帔穿着嫁衣时的模样,明眸皓齿,一笑便是倾国倾城。

    “阿萦,我好看吗?”

    “好看。”

    “阿萦,你喜欢我吗?”

    “喜欢。”

    “阿萦,你想娶我吗?”

    陆萦没说话,她醒了,因为梦境太过美好。睁开眼,什么也看不见,但陆萦能感觉到怀里的人儿,身子在一点一点回暖。

    这一醒,便再也睡不着了,因为陆萦舍不得天亮,天一亮她就该走了,天一亮她就要刻意保持她们之间的距离。脑海里乱七八糟的想着,又想到方才梦中的场景,陆萦用手摸索到她的脸,细腻微凉,陆萦回答着梦境中来不及回答的问题,声音极小极小……

    “倘若下辈子我还记得你,若我为男子,我定会想娶你;若我们还是同为女子,我……”陆萦将头蹭着顾青盏的肩,声音小到连自己也听不真切,“我也会…爱上你。”

    寂静,无边的寂静。

    而紧接着,顾青盏突然将她抱紧了,让两人的身体不留一点间隙。陆萦的心狂跳起来,她…她难道没有睡着吗?陆萦轻声唤着,“姐姐?姐姐……”

    无人应答。陆萦想了想,自己也太过敏感了,倘若顾青盏没睡着,听到自己的这番言论,必是会被吓坏的吧……又怎会这样抱着自己?

    陆萦也环紧她的腰,深陷短暂的甜蜜无法自拔,得寸进尺地将头埋进她的肩窝,去嗅她身上淡淡的兰草香。

    深夜里的密语更具穿透力,顾青盏一夜未眠,又怎会听不到她的言辞……她主动抱紧了陆萦,极力地想去索取温暖,可是……越想却越是心寒。她紧紧搂着陆萦,眼角的泪落得悄无声息……

    自楚先生走后,她就没有这样哭过。因为楚先生说了,她们这类人,一生都要去伪装,一生都不能动情,一生更不能用情……入了三晋会,一生的使命便是杀人。

    “先生,为什么不能哭?”

    “因为你这一生要杀很多人,可却没那么多眼泪。”

    楚先生总教她不要用情,可到头来自己却逃不过一个“情”字。她动了情,嫁与了陆将军,养育一儿半女,可到头来还是逃不过命运。与其说是命运,倒不如说是因果报应,她们染遍鲜血的双手,就注定了此生不得安宁。

    陆萦只觉得她把自己抱得更紧,也许,她是做噩梦了吧。陆萦轻轻安抚她的背,静静享受着这来之不易的拥抱。

    黑暗中相互取暖,却各怀心思。顾青盏此生遇到过很多人,经历过很多事,也做过很多戏,陆萦却是第一个这样坦诚待她的人。

    映秋不止一次提醒她,她和陆萦始终不是一路人,切忌用了真感情,假戏真做。

    从一开始的虚情假意,到现在的生死相依。虚虚实实,顾青盏早已分不清楚……但她深知,她不杀陆萦,不是时机不对,而是下不了手。

    可她既然上了三晋会名单,就逃不过一死,顾青盏看了看怀里的陆萦,她终究会变成一副冷冰冰的尸体。

    “……若我们还是同为女子,我也会爱上你。”想起这一句,顾青盏竟泪崩了。

    陆萦,倘若下辈子你还记得我,你定想杀了我。

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